For people who know me well- or probably even a little- it comes as no surprise that I would classify myself as a worrier. From childhood, I have been full of "what if" questions and a need to over analyze any given situation. What I have discovered as I get older is that this worry is just a manifestation of the fear rooted underneath. These fears are not as commonly known to those around me. I think it is time that I share some, if for nothing else than accountability. So here are a few of those things that cloud my mind even in my efforts to follow God whole-heartedly...
- What if I am not really much more than the "home body" little girl I have always believed myself to be?
- What if God calls me to Rwanda and away from everything I have known growing up?
- What if God doesn't call me to Rwanda, and I live here with this permanant ache because, at least part of my heart, is somewhere else.
- This one stings to write but for the sake of brutal honesty...
What if God cares about me enough to write something huge into my story, but doesn't factor in all the ways that I am not equipped for the call, leaving my heart with an always "homesick" feeling for somewhere? (OUCH, I know! That one is ugly.)
- What if I want my security more than I want His glory??
These are some questions that can weigh heavy on my heart, but once again I am reminded of His truth.
2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and a soundness of mind."
He didn't create me to be fearful, to worry, or to always ask "what if?" He is big enough for these questions and aches of my heart. At the end of the day, He alone is ENOUGH!
No comments:
Post a Comment