Until We Meet Again

Nyabihu is a village about 2 hours outside of the capital city of Kigali. Over the past three years, it has become one of my favorite places in the world. Being there, I find little hands in mine, see smiling faces, and hear my name hundreds of times as children envelop me in what can only be called a huddle hug. I have had the privilege of spending three weeks out there this summer, and those times have been the highlight of this trip. On Sunday, I had to drive away from this little village knowing that it was the last time I will see it for at least another year. This is one of the hardest recurring themes in my life. I love being there, and I always dread leaving!
The reason it is so hard to walk away from this place, is that it is here where I hear God most clearly speak to me about what is breaking His heart. He is not ok with the way the world is, and He is calling me to no longer be ok with it either. In Nyabihu, I have found what I recently heard a pastor call my "holy discontent." This is the place where my heart says enough is enough and something must be done. It is not ok with me to live in my total comfort while my babies are hungry. It is not ok for me to focus solely on my personal growth when my babies need Jesus. It is not ok for anyone to feel forgotten or abandoned by this world, and my Jesus will not let me forget it!
What makes the leaving so difficult is knowing that my heart and destiny are somehow wrapped up in this place, and yet I still have to walk away.  It is hard to understand that my path is not leading me here right NOW, and that is why I am reduced to sobs as I drive away from the people who have captured my heart. It is easy to feel frustrated and upset at having to go, but my Lord reminded me that this pain is good! My heart only hurts because God has caused me to love them so and broken my heart over what hurts His. So, for now I carry them and their stories with me, commit them to prayer, rejoice in the time we had together and what the future holds. I cannot say goodbye. So I say with a thankful heart, until we meet again....