For a self proclaimed control freak, "let go" are two words that tend to strike fear into me faster than just about any other. For someone who follows Jesus, that really shouldn't be the case, but that is an area that He has to daily work out some kinks in this child of His. There have been several periods in my life where I have had what I like to call a white knuckle grip on things. I was so desperate to control the outcome of a situation or relationship that I was holding it far too tightly. When these times come, I find myself intensely frustrated because I cannot control what is happening but I can't bring myself to let go and release it to God either. This once again comes back to trust issues with the Lord. I have to fight deep rooted doubt that He has my best in mind and can carry it out when I don't know how. When I get to that point of overwhelming frustration I know that releasing my grip is the ONLY way to freedom. Unfortunately, it usually takes the hard headed (and maybe hearted) part of me being broken to the point of desperation before I will think that giving it over to the Lord must be better than what I am currently feeling. That is when God finally gets what He deserved all along...my trust and surrender! Although the letting go scares me, He has never failed to show me how much sweeter things are His way. Recently, there have been several things I have had to release, but I can tell you from the other side that it is always worth it. God never fails to give beyond my wildest dreams and shows me that He knows what He is doing (as if that should be questioned)! Thank you, Jesus that Your ways are higher than mine!!
To those of you who don't struggle with letting go (Do those people exist??)- just know that there are those of us who, as my ugly confession today shows, do struggle on a daily basis. Pray for us!
To my fellow control freaks- From the chief of sinners in this area know that there is hope. He can change us. He will use the struggle, and the freedom on the other side is so sweet!
Isaiah 55:9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
